How to deal with teenagers
“How do I effectively help my child?” “Am I being too overprotective?” “Why is my child distancing himself/herself from me?”; these are some of the many thoughts and situations you as a parent might have to go through. Parenting has evolved into a complex and complicated form. Children in their teens are now exposed to a wider range of stimuli that could effectively alter their behavior and mannerisms.
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The focus of parenting is to assist youngsters in becoming courteous, responsible, and enjoyable to be around. Many well-intended suggestions revolve around ensuring that children are at ease and feel good about themselves for them to have a positive self-concept. For many parents, it’s a given that their children will make mistakes in life and that they will be held accountable for those errors. But they are concerned their children will regard them as harsh or strict, because of which parents often neglect to hold their kids accountable for poor actions. This leads to them blaming others and themselves for their children’s misbehavior rather than taking responsibility for their own actions.
Love and Logic Alone won’t Work.
It is love and not only logic that’ll get the boat across the stormy waters of parenting. A suggested approach would be to instill a voice in their juvenile’s head that whispers, “I wonder how much misery I’m going to inflict myself with my next decision?”. Moreover, it further aids the ability to resist peer pressure in children who learn to cultivate an internal compass. The principle of Love and Logic may be better understood with an example. The new smartphone you bought for your ward has been stolen. Let’s pretend we’re having a chat with each other.
Dad: “What’s the matter?”
Son: “I can’t find the smartphone you bought me, Dad. I went to the canteen to get a soft drink, but when I returned it had been taken.”
Father: “You must be in a bad mood, my son. It’s easy to get carried away. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to replace it once you’ve earned it again. The old phone will have to do till then.”
When parents apply these tactics, they can dramatically transform their relationships with their
children and take charge of their homes in compassionate ways.
Is it truly beneficial to be friendly?
Love, affection, and respect are the emotional foundations of parenting. Parenting is all about seeing it, and it’s an amazing thing to uphold. Although, a parent’s job goes beyond the emotional. And your kid isn’t your buddy either. It’s true that a large portion of parenting is just functional. Feeding, diapering, and washing a newborn are all part of this responsibility. To a young child, it implies making sure that schoolwork is completed. Setting and maintaining a reasonable restriction is a necessary part of making a mature fifteen-year-old. A child’s ability to grow into a responsible adult is in danger if his or her mother neglects both the emotional and the functional aspects of her duty.
The emotional and practical aspects of parenting do go hand in hand, as is often said. If you focus on one thing at the expense of the other, it is like skating on thin ice. Both are required. Emotional and functional needs fluctuate with life, thus parents need to be aware of this while raising children. For older children, the objective is to teach them how to survive without their parents, thus parents must assume a more functional role and less of an emotional one. Is your relationship with your child based on feelings? Yes. When you try to be friends with your child, though, you put your authority and capacity for parenting obligations at risk.
Furthermore, your kid can and will make new friends, but what your youngster will not be able to do is find a new parent. You and only you have the ability to be your child’s parent, which is another reason why you should be the parent rather than a buddy.
Can you teach an adolescent responsibility?
When a teenager refuses to accept responsibility for their actions, they are highly likely to depict themselves as a victim. When your kid says, “You don’t understand me,” they are saying, “I am a victim of your misunderstanding.” In this mode of thinking, one might find justification, blame, and other forms of rationalization.
Adolescence is the most conflicted period of a person’s life as seen from the viewpoint of a youngster. Adolescents and preteens experience a wide range of strong emotions. They are going through a variety of physical, hormonal, and sexual changes. They have more responsibility in high school than they had in elementary school.
As parents, it’s vital to realize how rapidly this occurs. However, this does not negate the need to hold children accountable for their behavior. That’s why it’s important for parents to keep an eye out for signs of victim mentality in their children. For many children, being a victim is a familiar and comforting identity. “You simply don’t get it,” he could reply if you don’t believe he’s a victim. What you should avoid, though, is adopting a parenting style that treats your children as if they are victims, and then attempting to repair their problems. In reality, it just serves to exacerbate the already precarious situation.
Saying, “You don’t understand me,” is a direct invitation to a conflict from your youngster. Avoid being drawn into a battle you have no business getting drawn into. Instead, remark, “Maybe I don’t understand you, but it’s crucial that you understand what I expect of you.”
You can teach your children the skills they need to take responsibility in their lives now. And for their future. With consistency and practice, your kids will learn that they are responsible for their actions and behaviors. It’s never too early—and it’s never too late—to start a culture of accountability in your home.
Should you let teenagers solve their problems by themselves?
Teenagers are young and energetic. They constantly try to evolve and learn new things independently. They are curious and often don’t seek the help of their parents because they might feel like their privacy is being invaded. Parents should not involve themselves deeply in the problems of their teenage children. It is crucial for children to learn to solve problems by themselves and become self-reliant and self-sufficient.
Parents, by trying to solve the issues of their children, might undermine their qualities and abilities to deal with an issue. It is important for the parents to stay by their side and provide them with all the necessary help required by the children at the same time guide them and observe their ways of dealing with a problem. If a child is not allowed to solve their own problems, it will be very difficult for them to learn, hence creating a roadblock to their confidence in dealing with an issue later in their lives. Allowing your teenagers to solve their own issues will not only give them the independence that they want but will also prepare them to take on serious issues that require them to deal with the outside world on their own. They should be asked to tackle small problems in schools and colleges, like managing lunch when they forget their boxes at home, paying the fees on time, etc. without the watchful eyes of their parents.
Solving their own problems will help the teenagers gain confidence in themselves. They will trust themselves with any problem more than anyone else. It will boost their morale and self-esteem. Little problems like making their own ties, and cooking a meal for themselves when their parents are not at home could prove beneficial for them.
Solving their own problems can also help the cognitive capacity of teenagers. They will start understanding the root causes of problems and how they can be solved. They will develop their own worldview and will adopt a new and different perspective on life. They will not only meet new people but will also get an opportunity to mingle with them which will improve their social relations and help them deal with people better in the future especially when they will have to work in groups.
Every teenage child is different and should be handled accordingly.
Every parent is different, they have different physical characteristics, different ideologies, cultures, ethnicity, political stance, and different ways of upbringing so, why compare the children?
Every child is different. They have different needs, personalities, and characteristics. Expecting your child to be like the “others” is unfair to them. Some children are inclined towards studies, some towards sports, some towards Art or Dance while others to music. When the interests of children are diverse, it is apparent that their needs and behavior would also vary.
Hence, it is important for parents to handle their children according to their needs.
Teenagers could be highly sensitive and emotional hence, it is important to handle them with utmost care and sensitivity. What might work with other children might not work with yours. It is important to handle issues with utmost patience and tolerance.
In parenting, it is important that you keep yourself in your teenage child’s shoes because someday you will be a teenager too. Teenagers today might face a plethora of different issues such as being extremely self-conscious or self-critical which might lead to eating disorders, addiction to social networking sites, constant comparison with others, substance abuse, uncertainty about the future, study pressure, substance abuse, need for affiliation and a constant urge to feel needed, important and visible. Some children get into serious relationships and face abuse from their partners. Some teenagers might face all the problems, some might have to tackle a few and some might not even face any of these issues. Mental health issues like Depression have also been seen in teenagers and the numbers are increasing every day.
It is important for parents to be good listeners and provide a non-judgemental and trustworthy environment for their children. So you, as parents, must become the first person to know about your children’s issues help them tackle their issues, and tell them that they are not alone. But, it is also important to understand that your child might not always want to confide in you, give them their space in such cases and don’t force them.
We, at Tillu Lab, are here to provide you with solutions to these problems with our revolutionary scientific technique that not only helps you to understand the needs of your teenage children but also helps in knowing their personality so that every child’s need is recognized. This helps in providing personalized care and treatment which is the need of the hour. The SWOT Analysis for Teenagers by Tillu Lab is a comprehensive online tool that can help you recognize, understand, and address various issues that your child is facing.
A lot of teenagers fall prey to mental health problems that not only inflict harm on their overall behavior but also on their moods, feelings, and physical health resulting in a lack of productivity. We at Tillu Labs aim to reach out to millions of teenagers across the country identify their issues and provide the requisite solutions through our mental health professionals and counselors.
The personal SWOT analysis provides a detailed analysis of a child’s Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats that they might face. This personality assessment by Tillu Lab is done by addressing about 80 questions related to the behavior of the individual under certain circumstances and situations. It can be conducted with the help of a practitioner psychologist or an online Personal SWOT Assessment tool. It is an easy-to-perform personality assessment that can be taken in the comfort of your home. The SWOT Assessment by Tillu Lab provides guaranteed results with remarkable accuracy.